Urgency

For years finding my birth mother or any other information about my biology has been uppermost in my mind. I've wanted the information more out of curiosity than anything else. But as I get older and health problems are starting to plague my life, I need the information to find out if any of my issues are inherited and can possibly be passed on to my children and/or grandchildren. After taking some tests the other day which have the potential to have devasting results suddenly it's not so important to know my biology but living my best life ever.

In just a few days, I've learned that I need to live my life with an urgency I've never felt before. It's now important to get those books written, sing the songs I want to sing, dance the dances and other literal and figurative goals I want to accomplish. I can't worry about anything that I can't solve and those things i think I can solve, I will do so only if I choose to. I now understand that everyone's problems are not mine to fix. There was a plaque on a relative's wall that will forever be ingrained in my mind: "The failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." So there will be times I will tell people I can't help them period or I can't help them at that particular time. I may even say I don't want to help them at all. I will be more selective about how I spend my time and who I spend my time with. I will spend more time being positive, reading my bible and in prayer.

I am going to have to take of me first! I am going to live to live.