I've heard women say they've become their mothers. Not surprising since those women had their mothers as role models. So my question is this, is the phenomenon of turning into our mothers an innate action or is it something to be learned? Is the woman I've turned into a replica of my adoptive mother or have I inherited the traits of my biological mother? Or is it possible for me to be a compilation of both women? I remember reading Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman, where the baby bird hatched while the mother bird was away and the baby sets out to find her. Along the way, the baby asks a dog, a cow and an airplane "are you my mother?"
These are the types of questions adoptees have to ask and almost never get an answer to. Sometimes it is up to us to choose what we want to become. Our efforts to become that person sometimes go awry. We sometimes get confused about what we are to become and how to become that person. Things don't always work right in the minds of the adoptees.
I've always dreamed of being a successful wife and mother but I couldn't be a good mother because I never learned to be a good daughter. Children are what they learn. What I learned was that I needed to find my roots so I could embrace what I was meant to be.