The greatest thing that has happened to me lately is the ability to discuss my feelings about being adopted. Growing up, it was such a secret, everybody knew but me. I love my parents, the parents who adopted me and nurtured me as best they could, but their passing has given me the freedom to finally open up and discuss my feelings. When I finished writing my first two short stories I knew I would have to market them, but never in my life would I have guessed that I would have to expose myself the way I have. It's a different feeling, but a great feeling. I feel free. If I never find my birth mother or anyone in my birth family at least I have found me! I have found my voice! I will continue my discussions about how potential adoptive parents need to discover why they want to adopt before adopting. There needs to be legislation forcing potential adoptive parents to be tested (at least lie detected) to determine the truths about why they want to adopt.
I've said it before and I will say it again, everybody who adopts a child is not doing it for the right reasons. The purest of all reasons would be to give love to a child for whatever reason needs to be loved. But too often, that's not the reason. And the other reasons are plenty: to keep a marriage together, one of the couple can't have children, the martyr syndrome, and the list could go on and on.
I just want people to think before adopting.
Oh my I could not agree with you more. When I first decided that I wanted to adopt people said so many things to me like how I would be saving their life and all I kept thinking was I am not a martyr I just want to be a mommy and love as many kids as I could.
ReplyDeleteI finally became a foster parent and it changed my world because I never knew I could love someone like that. At the same time many people would question me about how to get started because they thought the money would be super I found myself lying to people because I did not want them to do it for that reason. Some who were determined I would advise them to use me as a reference only for me to indicate on the form that they were only in it for the money..
I'm so happy for you! There are so many people who want children for various reasons except the purest one: to simply love children!
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