Puzzled Piece
Adult Adoptee Interview
Current Age: 50
Gender: Male
1. What age were you when you were adopted?
At Birth
2. In what State were you adopted?
Indiana
3. Was your adoption open or closed?
Closed
4. How old were you when you were first informed about your adoption?
38
5. Have you considered searching for anyone from your birth family?
YES
6. Did you inform your adoptive parents of your plans to search?
Both deceased
7. Were your adoptive parents supportive in your search?
NA
8. Have you actually started your search?
YES
9. Do you know any member of your birth family?
NO
10. Were you adopted with a sibling? (If yes, male or female sibling?)
NO
The following questions were asked to get a better understanding of some hereditary conditions that may have been avoided if the adoptee had access to their medical history
The Interviewee answered NO to all of the medical conditions:
Autoimmune Diseases
Cancer
Diabetes
Hair Loss
Heart Health
Lung Health
Menopause
Mental Health
Multiple Sclerosis
Reproductive Health
Sarcoidosis
In your own words how do you feel about being adopted?
Fine, I would just like to know my true blood line and if there are any hidden medical conditions out there I should know about.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Poignant Quote!
How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are, we must know our mothers' names. -Alice Walker
How interesting this quote is to one who is trying to find their roots. L. Sleigh is the only name I know. I sure wish she'd try to find me!
How interesting this quote is to one who is trying to find their roots. L. Sleigh is the only name I know. I sure wish she'd try to find me!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Interview With Adult Adoptee Male/61
Puzzled Piece
Adult Adoptee Interview
Age: 61
Gender: Male
1. What age were you when you were adopted?
15 months
2. In what State were you adopted?
Illinois/Indiana
3. Was your adoption open or closed?
Open
4. How old were you when you were first informed about your adoption?
6
5. Have you considered searching for anyone from your birth family?
Already Have
6. Did you inform your adoptive parents of your plans to search?
All 4 Are Deceased
7. Were your adoptive parents supportive in your search?
Yes
8. Have you actually started your search –
Have Done That & Continue to search my birth family tree
9. Do you know any member of your birth family? -
Yes
10. Were you adopted with a sibling? (If yes, male or female sibling?) –
No – But I have a female sibling that was adopted
The following questions were asked to get a better understanding of some hereditary conditions that may have been avoided if the adoptee had access to their medical history
Autoimmune Diseases - yes
Cancer - no
Diabetes - yes
Hair Loss - no
Heart Health - no
Lung Health - yes
Menopause - no
Mental Health - no
Multiple Sclerosis - no
Reproductive Health - no
Sarcoidosis - no
In your own words how do you feel about being adopted?
My parents (Mom & Dad) were both infamous heroin dealers and users on the West and South sides of Chicago from the 1940’s until the 1970’s – My mother had me at age 16 and I don’t know how old my father was – I do know that they both loved me even though they could not take care of me - because I’m told I had a lot of health issues – They didn’t want me to go into the system – so they had a big family meeting and my great uncle and aunt stepped up and agreed to adopt me at age 15 months - as long as my folks signed over full rights to me – They agreed and they all went to court and it was done in a friendly manner – When I was six years old and in the first grade, they sat me down and explained the whole situation to me and answered all my questions – They took me from Chicago , to Gary, Indiana - where I grew up – as I got older and healthier – they allowed me to spend more and more time with my birth mom at my grandfather’s house in Chicago – Even to this day I’m thankful and grateful to them for that opportunity – because of that – I am the person I am today – able to love, and be loved – My birth father died when I was 7 and my mother when I was 21 – the last thing she said to me was; “ Son, I have always loved You “ – I never talked to her or saw her alive again – she died while we were on our way back to Gary.
Adult Adoptee Interview
Age: 61
Gender: Male
1. What age were you when you were adopted?
15 months
2. In what State were you adopted?
Illinois/Indiana
3. Was your adoption open or closed?
Open
4. How old were you when you were first informed about your adoption?
6
5. Have you considered searching for anyone from your birth family?
Already Have
6. Did you inform your adoptive parents of your plans to search?
All 4 Are Deceased
7. Were your adoptive parents supportive in your search?
Yes
8. Have you actually started your search –
Have Done That & Continue to search my birth family tree
9. Do you know any member of your birth family? -
Yes
10. Were you adopted with a sibling? (If yes, male or female sibling?) –
No – But I have a female sibling that was adopted
The following questions were asked to get a better understanding of some hereditary conditions that may have been avoided if the adoptee had access to their medical history
Autoimmune Diseases - yes
Cancer - no
Diabetes - yes
Hair Loss - no
Heart Health - no
Lung Health - yes
Menopause - no
Mental Health - no
Multiple Sclerosis - no
Reproductive Health - no
Sarcoidosis - no
In your own words how do you feel about being adopted?
My parents (Mom & Dad) were both infamous heroin dealers and users on the West and South sides of Chicago from the 1940’s until the 1970’s – My mother had me at age 16 and I don’t know how old my father was – I do know that they both loved me even though they could not take care of me - because I’m told I had a lot of health issues – They didn’t want me to go into the system – so they had a big family meeting and my great uncle and aunt stepped up and agreed to adopt me at age 15 months - as long as my folks signed over full rights to me – They agreed and they all went to court and it was done in a friendly manner – When I was six years old and in the first grade, they sat me down and explained the whole situation to me and answered all my questions – They took me from Chicago , to Gary, Indiana - where I grew up – as I got older and healthier – they allowed me to spend more and more time with my birth mom at my grandfather’s house in Chicago – Even to this day I’m thankful and grateful to them for that opportunity – because of that – I am the person I am today – able to love, and be loved – My birth father died when I was 7 and my mother when I was 21 – the last thing she said to me was; “ Son, I have always loved You “ – I never talked to her or saw her alive again – she died while we were on our way back to Gary.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Interview with Adult Adoptee 32/F
Puzzled Piece
Adult Adoptee Interview
Age: 32
Gender: Female
1. What Age Were You When You Were Adopted?
4 years old
but I had been with my adoptive father from age 2
2. In What State Were You Adopted?
Oregon.
3. Was Your Adoption Open or Closed
My adoption was complicated. It was either the very first times, or among the first times, a single father adopted a child in the state of Oregon. My mother's name had to be left on the birth certificate, even though she signed over all her rights, because there was no other mother to take her place on the paperwork. My original father was removed and replaced with my adoptive father, and my name was changed.
4. How old were you when you were first informed about your adoption?
I knew about the adoption process because I had been 2 when I went to live with my adoptive dad, and then at age 4 I was put into foster care as the state studied him and his ability to provide for me. I had also met many of my siblings, both older and younger, so I knew from the age of 2... except I don't know if I really understood it until I was older.
5. Have you considered searching for anyone from your birth family?
I found my birth mother when I was 17. I met many of my older siblings. Three of my younger siblings have been located (they were all adopted into the same home), but have no interest in reunion. I don't know enough about my birth father to search, just his name. My birth mother assures me that his family are probably all dead.
6. Were your adoptive parents supportive in your search?
My adoptive father knew I wanted to search. He never says much about it. We don't really talk about it. I think it makes him sad. I can't complain about it to him, either. He won't tolerate any complaints about my birth mother or her family - he expects me to be kind to them. That has worked in my favor in some ways, because I haven't been able to draw my adoptive family into the drama. It's healthier.
7. Were you adopted with a sibling? (If yes, male or female sibling?)
no, I was raised as a singleton. I am number 6 in 10 siblings, with the older 5 staying in the family and the younger 5 adopted away. 3 of my siblings are half-Chinese, and the state placed them together. By the time they went up for adoption, I had already been adopted away.
8. Do you know any member of your birth family?
My adoptive father had limited contact with them and their caretakers for a short time.
The following questions were asked to get a better understanding of some hereditary conditions that may have been avoided if the adoptee had access to their medical history
Autoimmune Diseases- Yes (throidectomy and fibromyalgia)
Cancer- No (benign cancerous growths and tumors)
Diabetes-No
Hair Loss-No
Heart Health-No
Lung Health-no
Menopause-No
Mental Health-Yes (anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders synesthesia)
Multiple Sclerosis-No
Reproductive Health-No
Sarcoidosis-No
In your own words how do you feel about being adopted?
adoption is difficult to put into words. It means being part of two (sometimes more) families, but not being a full member of any one family. There is always that missing history, or missing DNA, or missing level of understanding that limits your ability to fit in. It's a struggle and it doesn't always seem worthwhile. It can be very demoralizing, confusing, and heartbreaking. Reunion isn't always what it's cracked up to be. My older siblings sometimes still refer to themselves as a family of 5 siblings, but I am number 6. I feel like a nuisance, a bother, a bore. They already have that connection with each other, and it was effortless because they had each other the whole time - creating a relationship out of thin air (or blood) takes more work than many people are willing to put into it. I don't have any support network because my reality affects so many of the people who would normally be supportive in an intimate way. How do I complain about the antics of my birthmother to her other daughters, or to my adoptive dad who doesn't want to hear about the difficult nature of my adoption and reunion? I can't. I can't explain to the family how betrayed I feel, how abandoned I feel, even by the older siblings. I can't explain how important it was for me to find my heritage, my blood, my people. I was raised by people who looked completely different from me, and I felt outcast and strange. I needed to know where I came from, who I looked like. I couldn't ever get that through to people - people who take their connections for granted. In many ways, adoption creates more ties to more people, but the ties themselves are weakened. In many ways, I feel like an only child and an orphan, despite having as many family members as I do (on both sides). I wish I knew my fathers lineage, but I never will. I wish my birth family would take the time and make the effort to get to know me, but they never will. I am always being compared to an ideal they had in their mind, and I will never measure up to the younger siblings who were removed by the state and not simply signed away. It's complicated, it's messy, it's a drag.
Adult Adoptee Interview
Age: 32
Gender: Female
1. What Age Were You When You Were Adopted?
4 years old
but I had been with my adoptive father from age 2
2. In What State Were You Adopted?
Oregon.
3. Was Your Adoption Open or Closed
My adoption was complicated. It was either the very first times, or among the first times, a single father adopted a child in the state of Oregon. My mother's name had to be left on the birth certificate, even though she signed over all her rights, because there was no other mother to take her place on the paperwork. My original father was removed and replaced with my adoptive father, and my name was changed.
4. How old were you when you were first informed about your adoption?
I knew about the adoption process because I had been 2 when I went to live with my adoptive dad, and then at age 4 I was put into foster care as the state studied him and his ability to provide for me. I had also met many of my siblings, both older and younger, so I knew from the age of 2... except I don't know if I really understood it until I was older.
5. Have you considered searching for anyone from your birth family?
I found my birth mother when I was 17. I met many of my older siblings. Three of my younger siblings have been located (they were all adopted into the same home), but have no interest in reunion. I don't know enough about my birth father to search, just his name. My birth mother assures me that his family are probably all dead.
6. Were your adoptive parents supportive in your search?
My adoptive father knew I wanted to search. He never says much about it. We don't really talk about it. I think it makes him sad. I can't complain about it to him, either. He won't tolerate any complaints about my birth mother or her family - he expects me to be kind to them. That has worked in my favor in some ways, because I haven't been able to draw my adoptive family into the drama. It's healthier.
7. Were you adopted with a sibling? (If yes, male or female sibling?)
no, I was raised as a singleton. I am number 6 in 10 siblings, with the older 5 staying in the family and the younger 5 adopted away. 3 of my siblings are half-Chinese, and the state placed them together. By the time they went up for adoption, I had already been adopted away.
8. Do you know any member of your birth family?
My adoptive father had limited contact with them and their caretakers for a short time.
The following questions were asked to get a better understanding of some hereditary conditions that may have been avoided if the adoptee had access to their medical history
Autoimmune Diseases- Yes (throidectomy and fibromyalgia)
Cancer- No (benign cancerous growths and tumors)
Diabetes-No
Hair Loss-No
Heart Health-No
Lung Health-no
Menopause-No
Mental Health-Yes (anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders synesthesia)
Multiple Sclerosis-No
Reproductive Health-No
Sarcoidosis-No
In your own words how do you feel about being adopted?
adoption is difficult to put into words. It means being part of two (sometimes more) families, but not being a full member of any one family. There is always that missing history, or missing DNA, or missing level of understanding that limits your ability to fit in. It's a struggle and it doesn't always seem worthwhile. It can be very demoralizing, confusing, and heartbreaking. Reunion isn't always what it's cracked up to be. My older siblings sometimes still refer to themselves as a family of 5 siblings, but I am number 6. I feel like a nuisance, a bother, a bore. They already have that connection with each other, and it was effortless because they had each other the whole time - creating a relationship out of thin air (or blood) takes more work than many people are willing to put into it. I don't have any support network because my reality affects so many of the people who would normally be supportive in an intimate way. How do I complain about the antics of my birthmother to her other daughters, or to my adoptive dad who doesn't want to hear about the difficult nature of my adoption and reunion? I can't. I can't explain to the family how betrayed I feel, how abandoned I feel, even by the older siblings. I can't explain how important it was for me to find my heritage, my blood, my people. I was raised by people who looked completely different from me, and I felt outcast and strange. I needed to know where I came from, who I looked like. I couldn't ever get that through to people - people who take their connections for granted. In many ways, adoption creates more ties to more people, but the ties themselves are weakened. In many ways, I feel like an only child and an orphan, despite having as many family members as I do (on both sides). I wish I knew my fathers lineage, but I never will. I wish my birth family would take the time and make the effort to get to know me, but they never will. I am always being compared to an ideal they had in their mind, and I will never measure up to the younger siblings who were removed by the state and not simply signed away. It's complicated, it's messy, it's a drag.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)